Cuffing For A Reason

damn topic sure is an uphill battle

 I always had an issue with relationships, yes, the whole concept behind it. Especially those just jumping into them just to satisfy an every day social norm. I think it’s safe to say that at one point you will want some body or at least entertain the idea of being with someone for the most part, and this applies to everyone. No matter how "cold hearted" and how far in the "niggas/bitches aint shit" zone you are in. Every one yearns for a situation where you can share a level of comfort, reassurance, and feel a sense of dependability. Having that frightening moment where you render yourself completely vulnerable to someone, along with having that peace of mind that you are heavily invested in someone you can trust. This includes myself as well. When writing this I wanted to make sure I wasn't lecturing or educating anybody cause I just don't do that type of shit. I base my knowledge on this specific topic during my years of living, observations and experiences alone. I have seen couples engage in non-meaningful relationships, or get involved with someone for the hell of it. I too have partaken as well; you see, you can't really elaborate if you never experienced it. There's probably thousands of articles, blogs, books, and references you can look up on about the opposite sex and relationship guidance. I personally think that's not the brightest form of a blueprint to follow when looking to understand an individual or being involved with someone who you are truly interested in or trying to invest your time in, or what’s more, your life!

So here's my opening about "Cuffing For A Reason".

Know Yourself & Being By Yourself 

this graphic sick af, don't front like this isn't clever FOH

One of the biggest issues most people have is with being alone. Before you ever "really" commit yourself to someone, take a step back and get to know yourself at a personal level, that is, what exactly ticks you off and gets you going. Be honest with what essentially makes you YOU. I can go off rip and break down how I am and my mentality without being shameful; for example, I am superficial beyond measure, I can't see myself with someone unless she is overwhelming attractive, or at least if I don't find her attractive. I know I value my time more then anything (that’s why I haven't committed yet). One of my biggest issue is investing or wasting time that I will never get back. My pride is at least at the low1,000,000,000. I'm the definition of careless and straightforward. I'm logical which destroys emotional connections at times, along side another deal breaker-- i'm jealous AF. These are negative characteristics that I know about myself. Before you can understand someone, you must understand yourself. Too many times I have seen people who just don't know how to be a alone; people consistently have this thought that they "need" to be with someone. First educate yourself on who you are as a person. Know your demons in and out. How can you expect to genuinely like and accept someone along with understanding a completely different human when you can't even fully understand yourself? By taking this step alone you can help yourself in situations, prevent meaningless arguments, and can give them at least a spread sheet as to what expect of you moving forward. One of the things about knowing yourself is being honest with yourself. If you actually are ready for one, are you willing to be a part of a true commitment? 

Are You Really Ready?

Basically all this shit & more

Do you even have your shit together? get a job, graduate. Complete goals and try to be ready with the every aspect of yourself and before you know, deem yourself ready. Its like fuck it what else is there to do, "I've completed mostly everything why not share it with someone now that i finally got my shit together and things are going great". though this section might sound like its focusing on the male audience, women are not far off from this topic, either. This can tie a little with "know yourself" but are you really ready to step into a relationship or do you just want someone there(which is normal)? At any rate, you must ask yourself—is this the person I really wanna be with?. Look at your life right now and your current position. Are you ready to commit? is it the right person during the wrong time? or vice versa. Essentially you will be investing most of your time, money, stress only to inherit not only their problems but also their family and friends. Is that person really worth it? I have seen picture perfect relationships take that extreme step of having a child without marriage and have them just to break up and raise a child in a divided household, filled with regret simply because the individuals "thought" they would be good together, not "know.”(why strive for a relationship just to have that be the outcome) You can't go off of other's opinions giving you their fake sense of credibility, just because someone says you guys “look like a good couple” or  “look great together” (whatever that means, anyway) doesn't necessarily mean its true, by all means that probably are just saying you are an attractive couple, (nothing to boast about ya just get mad likes on the gram) which for some odd reason everyone consistently strives for. When you finally Add everyday scenarios such as long distance relationships, be it school, work or borough-to-borough, it becomes another full time job. I know you guys have seen those "boyfriends/girlfriends" who are in relationships but are consistently cheating. If you think or second-guess on cheating then you clearly are not ready in the slightest, no matter the circumstance. I see it like this-- if you are ready, you see this person as your one and only option, until the person proves to you otherwise. Someone you promote that he/she is yours, putting in that extra effort, time, money to be apart of this on growing relationship, dates, holidays and events/celebrations. What's the point of being a relationship if you’re not striving for falling in love?

You Are Human 

Shit happens dawg (oh the irony of this pic #iKnow)

Nothing is ever picture perfect—shit, I doubt any relationship is. Everyone is human, and you have to realize that, as cliché as it might sound. Yes, there always will be a bigger, stronger, better-looking people/person, always leading to a sense of temptation or insecurity. As humans it’s hard to give up a lot of what we like for the happiness of others, whether it be hanging out, wanting to be alone, playing 2k, cyphs and partying, or etc. As you age you never want to look back at your life and say “I led a boring, complacent life.” You’re suppose to make mistakes, hit a few or several bumps in the road, and make the best of your early years… because I promise you, you will never look back at life and remember all those great nights that you slept in while everyone enjoyed themselves and tell you "How you missed it, wish you where there". Trust me-- no matter how great the sleep was, you will not say this, and you can trust me because I forget about my top 5 naps within an hour, but I will always remember the "Van Chronicles" (insider future blog shit). Not saying that you will forfeit what you like for the sake of your commitment, shit might never be in a situation that forces you to do so, but it may or may not wind up happening. I've witnessed people say they have given up a lot of their favorite hobbies or things they do for the sake of their partner, inevitable you do to a certain degree and its fine to give up those things as long as you're comfortable with that person and things work with in the realms of your relationship. As humans we become conflicted; where we can easily find love, we can just the same fall out of love. People change from who they once were or who they once were really into. (We’ve all thought, “What was I thinking?” about someone we’ve liked or dated—don’t lie). Even something such as cheating is a common human behavior for both sexes; humans are not monogamous by nature, it is society that teaches us otherwise. As such, our norm deems polygamy as unacceptable. We are supposed to do the normal thing—date one person, marry them and have kids. That’s just how it works. But what society doesn’t take into consideration is our human nature, our fleeting and temporary desires that lead to rash decisions, and love lost. Consequently, the flame that was once there is there no longer. Harmless flirting becomes something that one should expect whenever involving yourself with someone. Things happen, remember, you are human.

 Well...





One of the reasons why I decided to talk about this topic was because of the consistent BS I see ya tell ya selves on social media, whether it be through verbal conversations or actions or both. For the most part everyone is so engulfed in wanting to be part of a relationship, and not actually staying and building upon one. Every one is just half-assing it. Personally, I think a lot of ya just want to post pictures up on instagram and write quotes, say “look at bae,” and have sex when the weather is too ugly to come out (yeah FOH cuddling or netflix is code word for fucking). Ya always complaining about some aspect of love or relationships not knowing that the person you have chosen or you yourself are the problem. 

I'm all about being straightforward. So if I can give a bit of advice. 

 One: Live you're life; you will eventually find someone.

Two: Don't ever listen to your friends about who you should be with or the dynamics surrounding a relationship... because let’s be serious, most of them are probably single and shouldn't be giving you advice in the first place or advice from anyone because make your own choices and damn decisions, it’s about time!

Lastly, being in a relationship is something you should be looking forward to when the opportunity presents itself. Besides all the benefits like sex, you can have a foundation like no other and have all these pretenders envy essentially what everyone wants and is yearning for but are too pussy to openly commit to

Lastly, Lastly,