The Great FALL; Men handling Heartache

THE GREAT FALL; MEN HANDLING HEARTACHE

Insecure, and the beautiful ISSA with the assist to my blog. 

For my female readers I'm assuming you would want some insight on what goes on in a man's brain. More importantly, during what is going through our minds, all while experiencing a heartache... this topic relates to both parties, in a sense in which those men who experience it and their actions vs. the Ex-partner who has to deal with the heartbreakee. In regards to the topic, this was one that I've endured some difficulties. Comprehending something I am not familiar with at all, nonetheless i was gonna tackle this shit regardless...which puts me at a crossroad.. It's a bothersome topic, revealing our vulnerable, irrational, and, at times, misunderstood side ..  Yet i feel a slight bit of guilt, i am in full support of my brothers' betrayal, putting them on trial all for the subject of a "heartache." There are also various of forms of how one may encounter it, or receive it. On the other hand, it's a spectrum of an individual's emotional pain... Which can vary from the lower or higher end. What I HAVE mother fucking found is there is an overall generalized behavior on how us men (they) deal with shit, aka the big hurt... to understand heartache i must... ask myself a question, that is, the foundation of heartbreak and it is "how do men even VIEW LOVE?" ... to receive any heartbreak, you must have Loved? Makes sense? This is my realization on how we deal with an heartache in the first place and the value and understanding of love, and what it really means to us. 

What do men think about "Love?"

Poor Rob Stark took a dagger and lost a war for love

"Fuck that shit" is what really comes to mind when that subject is presented. It's been known since the early days of civilization. Men were warriors: destructive, seekers of power, conquerers, aggressors, power seekers and there is no room for stuff like that... Yes, we are all well and far beyond those barbaric times... although we are, we aren't off from the same teachings that has been passed down from man to man. The idea of having to be mentally unbreakable, emotionless, and basically brainwashed & tattooed with the term "man up" or "be a man" on our forehead.  Let's not forget that it has become almost a standard of upbringing as well, a built-in-society construct... Almost as if it's a rite of passage... the teachings that society has engraved on us, these ideas that are enabled sometimes by adults, teachers, parents (yes mom and grandma included) coaches, jobs/career fields, cultures, and religions. In any situation, being kind or loving for men in whatever sense, has always been a sign of weakness, a lot of men will treat love or believe falling in love will be their downfall. it's like the phrase "The less you love, the less you have to lose." Love can be misunderstood as selfish and possessive as well... Mistaking their partner as someone who does for him and he sets the rules and guidelines at times trying them like an object vs. someone he's sharing a life with.

Why do men stay away from "Love?"

How To BE A PLAYER (must watch) Blassic

In the midst of all that brainwashing (in this sunken place), when we are young, it's a leverage game: knowingly enjoying their counterparts' attributes, everything that's not love- The sex, control, manipulation, the excitement, sense of freedom, the praise of being promiscuous.. you nammeeeee it. All while unconsciously... not realizing that this has always been OUR privilege. *It's well known- at least to me- the privilege that men have in this world... but for the sake of the blog/topic* of just being a man and taking advantages towards women, having it our way like the Burger King menu along with a $5 box from popeyes for shits and giggle. Why give up a sense of freedom and power when we can venture out and do as we please, with minimal backlash and repercussions? We, at times, see the daunting effects of love when women display their own heartbreak (who wants to fall into that?) If anything, I've always experienced an overwhelming disparity of who gets hurt through these love relationships, it indeed has been women more times that it has been men.. One larger reason why men stay away from love is because those men have ultimately been sideniggas before, conquering another man's girlfriend or who were able to be with other women who were in "established or loved" relationship. What's the point, when the proof seems to be in the pudding? Doesn't sound like such a good deal.. no lie, even to me at times (i'll go half on a baby tho)

Temptation (Yes, women can be scum bags 2)

Why do men fear "Love?"

The fear of losing all that power, that emotional impenetrability. It's a strength, believe me, I've long yearned to have that careless and excessive carefree and irrational behavior when I was in my more youthful years... Now I be caring about shit. The more you feel = the more you care... which leaves a wide open slam dunk to straight ass vulnerability, like kind of losing a sense of power over this hold, like a hold on your debit card. Feels like you can't do anything, that's overall annoying to encounter especially when you're invested in it. Aside from the power aspect, another aspect includes insecurity or what we have witnessed, is a wasted of emotional investment. No partner wants to be cheated and men are masters of their own screw ups but men are experienced in this lane, we know it oh so well from seeing it first hand as children, praised in movies, and by personal experience. So when approaching a relationship with a full chance of commitment... that's our public enemy, our number one fear. Aside from that, is fear of overall loss of someone who they value, someone who has exposed them to a level of affection, acceptance, and that nurturing feeling that we rarely get. That's something men aren't exposed to: that excess level of comfort and what seems to be an irreplaceable experience... and that can all be done away with a simple slip up or the prospect of a woman outgrowing a man, losing interest... even feeling that they need a better suitor in future. This fear of losing freedom or control of our emotionless fortress, seems to set a fire.... and we don't seem to be all that powerful after all that is taken away.

Men pending their Heartache

The Break-UP (peep how he acts during his breakup)

Most men are extremely territorial, aggressive, and egotistical. So when we finally fall deep in love, and for whatever reason the heartbreak might have been caused by (if they were truly in love), the pain of losing someone you valued or cared for feels unimaginable so i can't really comprehend it, but i can just imagine it's an equation similar to "fuck that bitch x... i wish i had done this and that differently = complete distraught irrational man." Men also go through a dramatic life change... it can be very negative to extremely positive, I'll mention and play out, most by the subjects listed below. Try and expose what i have witnessed, encountered, read, and even taken examples from shows and movies what plays out through a man's mind post heartache and what he does and goes through, it can be scary... very scary

BEHAVIOR: i must begin with the bad, because there is no true good way to go through a heartbreak. It isn't an easy transition so men engage in unhealthy behaviors such as 

• obsessive alcohol or drug use, getting random mood swings
• gaining/losing excessive amount of weight at a short amount of time,
• extreme lack of self care and maintenance, 
• alienating friends, family, odd or unnecessary spending habits
• creep or stalk, harass their ex-partner, slandering, and making up false rumors
• engaging in extreme sport or activities that will cause injuries (to get attention from their EX)

ACTIONS: they may even think of harming themselves... sadly there are and have been numerous of cases where the weight of a love lost is far too much for some men to handle which makes men dangerous.. Frightfully a disturbing number of those incidents of these heartbroken men become very abusive toward their past partners and dangerous... raping, harming, and even killing those around them are extreme vile, disgusting vile and cowardly selfish acts. it felt hard writing that truth cause it happens and far too often that i hear, some go further and go to the lengths of committing suicide... it's one subject i really won't engage in but if it's worth any to my audience, it's never worth such lengths. As vulgar as that might seem, men are like that. 

ahhh the famous WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN...

THE PICK UP: LOVE WITH A CAUTION

There's no immediate cure for a heartbreak, gentlemen, so I'm just give some hypothetical advice. Even if it went out on good or bad terms, personally.. this is just me: Just forget about her, she got no room in ya emotional bank anymore, you deadass overdrafting. That can fuck up something good with a new person in future. After you get burned, don't burn the other person (hurt people hurt people)... to be honest: Avoid even the stage of being friends, you don't need them here and there, or at least be but from a very, very far distance.. Can't stress it enough... LEAVE THE EX. What we also not about to do is become emotionally irrational enough to expose any videos, images, or pictures... that's wild immature my guysz. Grow up... secondly, you are entitled to your freedom of speech.. not gonna deny ya the right of the first amendment... do ya. So talk ya shit and slander away with reason, eventually... get over yourself. Hey you can fuck every chick you want BUT it isn't gonna help fill that void.. but hey fuck it..  you're single, enjoy your once lost freedom... just remember you've been there before and now KNOW how it feels. Show some growth mah niggsz.. shit you probably know the feeling more than once (can't be me). At the very least, try to empathize, selfish dick.. don't be a stalker either, you're gonna do more damage than good, don't surprise her with gifts, shit can blow up right on your face no matter the gesture... and btw I also mean like social media stalking, basically the same difference. Lastly DO NOT HARM HER OR KILL YOURSELF there are literally tons of women in this fucking world to put yourself or even considering harming someone of your little heartache shit literally fucking happens all the time with women and you don't see the male population dwindling... THE LAST LAST ADVICE: time literally heals all wounds. If anything, block her... if it was that BAD and it was a distant memory... stay and be cool/cordial and suffer temptation from time to time.. or countless jabs and subs. To each ya own. Just know the value of what you once had and have it as a burning memory, love is real. MY 2 CENTS... that's men pending heartache and love.