#ThirstyB*tches

"Niggas, let us bow down today, for the gawds have blessed us with a blog and with this holy blog time to slaughter thy thirsty bitches, and hold it down." - Meezus 

Unlike the Niggas, who's level of thirst tend to be rather basic and in a very non-interesting fashion, such as over expressing and commenting excessively. Bitches, on the other hand, are master minds of displaying thirst, and ya disguise it all too well. While this may be true for most, ya not fooling me bitches. ya have different faces when it comes to this types of thirst, there's several variations. Ya bitches be so versatile with the thirst.  You know me & shit, i gotta break it down, and save my brothas. so Here are a few of the many strategical tactics these bitches use on ya innocent fellas.. U.O.E.N.O.

1. THE FAKE GAY THIRSTY BITCH
Ya have to be the corniest of the set of bitches, seeking attention by over working that gay shit. Bitch we know you're straight, but the only way for you to still hold on to that hope and keep this attention is by flirting 
with every bitch that looks better then you or saying dumb shit about how you gonna play for the other team knowing Damn well you wouldn't lick the cooter if it was sitting on your face. Fraud ass bitch. Just dying for a nigga to fall for your attention seeking ass.

2. THIRSTY SPORTS ANALYST BITCHES 
Do you know how disappointing it is knowing that not a single sandwich was made because bitches decide to watch not only the superbowl, but also the damn NBA All Star games? Who the fuck do you think ya are? Sounding mad stupid by stating stupid shit, such as, "The Boston Red Sox won because Carmelo Anthony kicked a field goal and also got the kick return and ran it back for a thousand yards while wining the World Series and the Kentucky Derby." I don't wanna hear you talking about how good the "Heats" are. You SHOULD be talking about how versatile a chicken is. Now, next time you wanna be a fucking analyst bitch, make a slight detour to the kitchen, that way, when you make the sandwich, you realize where your actual place of sanctuary is at.  

 3. THIRSTY CORNY NOT FUNNY BITCHES
 YAA NOT FUNNY!!! Holy SHIT, Some of ya bitches be the corniest to follow! Everyday i'll scroll down and look at at some of ya hoes, who TRY to be funny, and literally saddens my day. Ya be trying sooo hard to sound like us. Ya sense of humor and approach is dumb trash. I hope a majority of ya don't think ya getting followed because of ya exceptional delivery when making jokes. Just posting memes doesn't make you funny and sounding like hoe doesn't make you funny either, you just look thirsty trying to be funny… pick one, fuck is your problem!?

4. THE THIRST PIC, THIRSTY BITCH
This is for the instagram honey's, dead locked on your IG counting up the likes, and complaining about how thirsty niggas are, acting like ya not equally thirsty about them likes that's coming your way. Same bitches that take pictures with no clothes on and be getting mad if a nigga wanna fuck. Shit bitch, you looking like a damn fucking porn star on every other pic. #CanYouBlameUsTho. And stop tryna disguise your whorish pic with song lyrics that have nothing to do with it. And ya corny asses need to stop taking pics of your legs saying shit like "I just got new floors". Bitch we can't even tell cuz your thick ass legs taking up the whole pic. Then ya wanna play the dumb bitch when a nigga call you out on it. 

5. ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SEX THIRSTY BITCH
Always talking about how you can do this and that, how you can make a nigga fall in love, etc. Please get your standing still, laying your ass flat on the bed, just taking it sex advice allllllll the wayyy the FOH! Niggas is getting hip to this shit now. We used to fall for it but now we know better. Always talking bout sex and you're not even having sex yourself. There's a problem if you talking about it and not doing it. Bitches be swearing they Abella Anderson but they really resemble a corpse in bed. i done seen bitches pitch a perfect game talking about sex, yet in reality….nvm. Just know these bitches Just want attention and you can't trust them. 

6. THE SCREENSHOT THIRSTY BITCH
Oh wow, niggas like you round of applause to the bitch who wants the world to know that she's holding it down by exposing niggas! But funny thing is-- how nigga got your # in the first place?! I'll wait. I understand bitch, you're popping, your text messages is always on tilt, always got like 100 of them shits unread. But do you really gotta post up all the niggas that have a slight interest in you on blast?  What's the point? A few chuckles? Smh once again it makes you look stupid. Niggas can't even compliment anymore cuz of bitches like this. Some of the screenshots be lookin fake too. I find it hard to believe a nigga gon text you sweet shit ALL day and you give no response. We know you deleted your imessages to make it seem like a nigga thirsty over you. Fuckin pathetic. 

7. BITTER THIRSTY BITCH
First and foremost, you gotta let that hurt go Ma! Deadass that's not a good look for you hurt bitches waiting for niggas to be a security blanket or sympathize. Ya over here with stupid shit like "</3, niggas aint shit, they all assholes, im a be gay, niggas is all the same," and it's consistently the same basic bitch tactics. i just hope you bitches find someone who's an ever bigger asshole and treats ya worse.

8. SELF HATE THIRSTY BITCH
We've all heard it before… "I'm so fat, I'm so ugly, I'm a scam, I…" STFU!! YOU NOT EITHER BITCH! Damn, ya just dying for niggas and other bitches to give you a confidence boost that you don't need in the first place. We know you not any of the sort; this has to be the thirstiest of the bunch, I swear to God. We know, you just want someone to hit you up and stroke that thirst-seeking ego and say that you aren't any of those things.  

9. THE UGLY THIRSTY BITCH
Damn, this is fucked up.. but it's true. The ugly ass bitches seeking attention. Smfh, I feel so bad lol. The ugly bitches be so bold and holding it down; they so up front with they thirst I can't even get mad. Straight up mention you first, give that follow first, and even DM you first. They don't get the attention they want so they have to give they attention to niggas out on the open in plain sight. Ya most likely the bitches that are bounced around your TL 

10. THE SUPER BAD SEXY THIRSTY BITCH
Looking mad sexy and shit.... fucking tempting and enticing bitches, man. Smh ya bitches so bad, ya thirst is acceptable, just not on my WATCH! Ya are a rare case; ya seem thirsty without even trying. If ya like it or not, ya bitches are setting the trap and being thirsty at the same damn time. You can flirt with one nigga and have half your follows twatching a dude because you said "HI" or sent an emoji with the hearts in em. You need to start getting uglier or not respond to no one.

I already released Thirsty Niggas, so its quiet for ya bitches backlash. Also, thou shall NOT be sexist or discriminate, you can't forget the equal rights movement. To summarize this blog, a bitch's way of showing thirst is by her approach, which causes a reaction or seeks ATTENTION. Bitches love attention and they will find any means necessary to get that attention, whereas us niggas just be so easy to show them that kind of attention without hesitating, which only makes ourselves look thirsty af. Meanwhile, bitches do anything possible to grab niggas' attention,  whether its acting gay for niggas, or watching a sports event. Yes, we thirsty, but ya bitches laying it out there for us. For example, if a big booty bitch walks passed us with shorts on... what you think we gonna do?


follow me @TheRantGawd or @Word2Myknicks
EMAIL ME AT: Miguelemontaz@gmail.com

#ThirstyN*ggas

#ThirstyN*ggas

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Let us begin and welcome the New Year with open arms! Posting my second blog of the year and this one is dedicated to you extraordinarily thirsty ass niggas and how little shame you guys have as a collective group. And because it's 2013, let’s take the famous phrase that's brought up every New Year, "its a new year, new me," into major consideration. All I’m saying is that I have my sleeves rolled up for what I’m about to say. Ya mother fuckers just don't know how to chill and calm the fuck down. Learn how to process and think about what the fuck ya be doing and saying. Sometimes I’m taken back and surprised how much hydrogen monoxide (WATER) has to be provided to you mongrels. It looks like some of you niggas can consume a lake or an ocean with the all-star talent of thirst I see on my TL. Oh man does Twitter have some MVP candidates, Making a nigga like lebron seem like a high schooler with ya unlimited thirst. The thirst is flawless and perfectly executed, so much that it makes me want to throw up. Fuckin Thirst Zombies, savages and worshipers. The way some of ya act, has been irking me for a while and the Internet just escalates the situation with ya disgusting levels of thirst. Ya mother fuckers give us regular niggas such a bad name. Its one thing to bury and tarnish ya reps, it’s another thing to punish the gawds (innocent bystanders) in this mix-up, warping us in ya fucking mess. That is mad fucking rude. Just because you’re not getting any pussy, doesn't give you the right to drag us down with you. Like how selfish and inconsiderate is that shit, Just because you look like a complete fucking fool, the whole general male population has to fall into that black whole BECAUSE of ya'll? NAH NIGGA FOH.

Now there is a general difference between being interested and being FUCKING thirsty. Let’s not get it wrong with entertaining or being interested in someone there is a HUGE difference. Majority of the time, people can tell. People, mainly women confuse this for thirst, for example: when niggas compliment, DMs BUT gets the hint, or flirts with moderation. That's cool, and all because some of ya chicks get too gassed ma niggs and a huge portion why some of them do is because The thirstiest of low lives hype you regular bitches. But this isn't about ya right now, ya got next. For now sit on the bench till Coach "Gawd Popovich" subs ya in. Cause right now, I have a personal vendetta with the Thirst Beasts. I get it Thirst Leeches. We as niggas get interested at times we wanna pursue a potential jawn, so be it If we wanna smash or wanna wife it. Cause lord knows I look at a few of ya heaux avis that pop up on my TL and a nigga like thy self just wanna go out their way and over do it like some of ya Thirst Androids. Yes, the bitch is bad and I wanna press that follow button at the speed of light, I wanna DM with the intensity of breaking my phone, but I have this Gawd lineage in me which is called pride that's built with a lot of dignity. As corny as this shit sounds, I have some self-respect wrapped into all that pure greatness. Now for the second portion of my blog lets test your thirst. So you know where the hell you stand in the "Thirst Games." Let us begin... And may the thirst never fall in your Favor

Are You Dying Of THIRST?

• Do you excessively DM and Text a chick, but she doesn't respond and curves you and she gives you one worded answers? And still, you continue to pursue her? The curve has been set (get the point MOVE THE FUCK ON). 10 points
  
• Did you ask for her number and she didn't give it to you the first time? Did you ask again and you still didn't get it the second or third time, but you still continued to ask for it? My mans-- that's low key sexual harassment.  15 fuckin points
• Do you agree to whatever a chick says just because she's BAD without basing it off of your own opinion son? Grow a pair, little bitch. 10 points
• Do you follow a twitter chick, who isn't actually famous or has that twitter check and she not following you back? Fucking groupie. 20 points
• Do you DM a chick the minute you follow her or if you DM every chick you follow? Tally up yourself 10 points for EACH chick.
• Do you end up on a screen shot or exposed DMs? Let us pray and add yourself a grand prize of 75 points.
• Do you come to the rescue like a nosy little bitch if a chick is arguing with another dude through a social network? Putting that cape on isn't gonna get you any form or shape of pussy or a number B.
  Please grant yourself 45 points.
  
• Do you ever bad mouth a dude to get with a chick or get some pussy (even tho sometimes strategic lol still too much shade and ultimate bitch move)? 100 points
• Do you ever bad mouth your friend to get with a chick or get some pussy (Scumbag)? 150 points
• Do you like a chick's pic "all the time" she puts it up on instagram?
• If you know her... 10 points
• If you don't know her... 20 points
• Do you leave a thirsty ass comment on a chick's instagram or leave your number? 
• (Example: Wow i'll fuck the shit out of you, hit my jack ma, and my favorites are the sentimental shits) Fucking birds.
• If you know her... 55 points
•  If you don't know her... 75 points
• Did you ever like an ancient picture on facebook/instagram or tweet (fucking stalker)? 25 points 
• Did a girl ever tell you, "you're such a good friend," and you didn't understand that you're in the friendzone? 15 points
• IF YOU LEAKED SOME NUDES 200 points!
• IF YOU LEAK A SIMP VIDEO OR CAUGHT BEING RECORDED CRYING (die) 350 points

Where does your thirsty ass stand?

 

Parched (if you scored 100-400)

This means you almost there mah nigga. Start calming the fuck down, when you get a chance look up the definition. Even tho you aren't there yet doesn't mean you can't take a couple safety precautions and avoid reaching such levels. You the type that acts like you aren't thirsty and that your just being a guy "NAH". Your level is complicated because niggas or bitches don't know if you joking or your being deadass with it. You're socially acceptable until you decide to turn it up a notch. your in the "IT BEGINS STAGE" so don't let it begin brah.

Dehydrated (if you Scored 500-700)

 You definitely fall into the looking through every chicks picture and liking them. Leaving some crazy ass comment, by this time you have no soul or recognition of your thirst. Trying to save chicks on twitter throwing on the cape on like you aren't just another Friend Zoned nigga. Them Rt's of positivity to save a chick i repeat again IS NOT GONNA GET YOU ANY PUSSY, it probably won't get you even a follow back. Ya fall into "BECAUSE OF YA NIGGAS" which means because of ya corn balls us regular niggas have to suffer for ya savagery. These are usually Puerto Rican niggas with braids.

DYING OF THIRST (if you scored 700-1,130)

Niggas like ya are the reason why regular, beyond basic bitches swear they're gods gift to twitter. Because an epic abundance of YOU niggas follow and gas these bitches up! So much that they believe they can not follow up and not give it up. Ya open hells gate to let ugly, fat, uneducated bitches the chance to slander us. Are ya niggas fucking serious? They are not sexy and they not giving you anyy pussy. Looking like mac trucks and these bitches behaving 1,000 followers. Like how does that even happen? I bet if all ya niggas STOPPED following bitches that don't follow you back, i bet them bitches will Humble themselves. They have ya so wrapped around they finger, they can guarantee likes, RT's a lap dog who's gonna save her from getting slander, comments, text and DM's just to entertain em and have screenshots ready to expose ya dumbasses. bitch ass niggas if ya only new if ya showed less attention the sex to follow ratio will change. but since ya lost already "YOU OFFICIALLY BELONG TO THESE BITCHES". Way be a a slave fucking pussy


Finally got around slandering Niggas in-general now, now some of ya bitches can get off my dick about just coming at ya & cut a nigga some slack. If any of ya niggas have something to say speak up, tweet me. I sure as hell don't give a fuck. Might as well add up your score and see where you fit in, don't have to lie about it either. In all actuality some of ya niggas should be thanking me. See me as your blog leader and savior, saving ya from eternal damnation, Like your Jesus, just only with a blog, I'm your "blog Jesus" who curses an shit. ya should know the nature of twitter, i'm just looking out for ya... #NoThirstInTheWild

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